Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in David's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
5:07 am	Saturday, August 5th, 2006 8:29 pm Hmm.. And then one day you wake up and realize that everything is perfect. Everything has been perfect. And it's been perfect for a long time. Anything that can happen isn't really that bad and any problem we have has a solution. It isn't nineteen fifties sitcom perfect, but life isn't like "Leave it to Beaver" and I'll take this type of perfect first, regardless. I love you, Brooke. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Brooke just made a cute little moany sound in her sleep! I never saw it coming. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
11:08 pm	Fuck living. I'm lowering my bar. I'm giving myself four years. I'll be twenty three. And then I'm done. Unless someone can give me a reason to keep trying. Because I just keep fucking up. And I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to BE anymore. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 11th, 2008
10:14 pm	I fucking hate my life. I hate that it feels like I'm never going to enjoy living again. I'm so afraid of being unhappy a second longer than I am. I'm just so fucking scared. (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 9th, 2008
1:10 am	Fuck my life. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 13th, 2008
11:50 pm	FUCK. FUCK. That about sums it up. BUT, TO ELUCIDATE. I drank half of a kiddie bottle of Dimetap. Sometimes, when I move my hands to fast it looks like I have two hands on one arm. I don't like the idea of dying, but I won't be around to care, will I? That is, if I died. Which I'm not planning on. It does sound nice right now, though. Just for a while. Being dead for a couple hours would be the best thing right now. Now that I think of it, I'm not elucidating at all, really. I think that is a very pretty word. Eh loose ih date. Elucidate. To bring light to. In my intoxicated vanity I'm listening to my own compositions. "Skog" is a Nick Drake ripoff. I'd never heard "They're Leaving Me Behind" before I wrote it, (neither had most of the music world, it's a tape recording that wasn't released 'til June last year) But it just sucks that the opening motif is so damn similar. Dittye is a Greensleeves derivitive. I'm a hack. But I used to be a hack with a girlfriend. And that made a load of difference. Just having someone I could talk to would make the difference right now. I just spent the last five minutes crying. Didn't want to get the laptop wet. I don't know what to do. I hope you're having fun. I am bitter. But, I love you. And the cynicism makes it hurt less. Not much though. Wheeee, my extremities are all TINGLEH. But, also, I would just like to fall off a cliff. Buddha? Yahweh? Vishnu? Thor? Zeus? Mr. L. Ron Hubbard? Richard Dawkins? If any of you happen to be defying the laws of physics could you also please make me able to cope with things that I am unable to cope with? No? Fuck. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 5th, 2006
8:29 pm	Hmm.. And then one day you wake up and realize that everything is perfect. Everything has been perfect. And it's been perfect for a long time. Anything that can happen isn't really that bad and any problem we have has a solution. It isn't nineteen fifties sitcom perfect, but life isn't like "Leave it to Beaver" and I'll take this type of perfect first, regardless. I love you, Brooke. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Brooke just made a cute little moany sound in her sleep! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
2:21 am	It's almost two thirty in the morning. I still have homework to do. I miss my Brookelyn. I'm cold. I need to do a review on A Feast for Crows, finish some history map thinger. Do those stupid "Words to Own" things in English. I just want to sleep. AUGH. Fuck. I love my lady, Brooke. Current Music: Pantera - Walk (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 1st, 2005
12:58 am	Freyja After a couple hectic days, things seem to be going really well. Brookelyn and I are havin "love you more" matches again. I looove you, MORE, miloverly Brookelyn! The cat that my mom brought home that's been hiding in her room is getting more friendly. It's sitting in my lap now, purring. My mom and I named her Freyja. Our cats, Mofield and Freyja. I love it and I love Brooke! Current Music: Sigur Ros - Glosoli (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
12:01 am	I don't know if most people would be able to call their relationships beautiful. I don't really care about "most people," but I know that I can with out some sort of guilt of airs. It's not like I think or say that to make myself feel better about it. It's just true. There's a beauty in sadness, just as there is in joy or serenity. I can feel it even in my worst moments of depression with her. A kind of fleeting sense of art and beauty in the back of my mind reminding me that even though it may hurt immensly..it's worth it because I'm living it. It's worth it because I'm feeling it with and through her. "'Cause life is just a beautiful death" Jari Maenpaa Current Music: Beautiful Death - Wintersun (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
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Friday, June 17th, 2005
12:18 am	i think i'm having a panic attack i feel like i'm going to die it hurts so much and i just need to talk to her but she's either not home or she won't pick up just lying on my hard futon breathing frantically and weeping. brooke i need you. where are you. i'm so pathetic and i just need you. i'm so pathetic..fucking bitching in a livejournal. i have no where else to go. nothing nothing i can do just sit at this computer and write meaningless shit no one could give a damn about. i'm so miserable right now and i have no where to go and no one to turn to. i spent about ten minutes trying to open those fucking sleeping pills i didn't even notice. i was shaking and breathing so heavily and my head hurts AND WHY ARE MY EARS RINGING brooke i love you so much. where are you i'm so selfish. to ever make her ever have dealt with the emotional wreck that i am. what is wrong with me. to do that to her. BROOKE WHAT DID I DO. fuck i'm so pathetic. it's sad. i just want to pass out and wake up next to her smiling and holding me and telling me i'm not a burden when i completely am. i love you brooke (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
11:47 pm	beh "Away Message: dont play with fire or youll get burned Profile: awake but away in silent pain...as its screaming out my name. Chrisiloveyou" Haha fuck. i mean i understand i've understood that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt from time to time. I'm in love with Brooke. (Comment on this)
Friday, June 10th, 2005
12:53 am	dex I feel so shitty tonight i made brooke sad. i know i did. I'M SORRY BROOKE. FUCK i don't know how much i took i just chugged some if i don't feel anything soon i'll take a lot more and if that still doesn't work dammit i promised brooke i wouldn't use ace any more...FUCKowell.. ilovebrookelycathlyneahlberg. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 5th, 2005
11:41 pm	hjerte [23:39] ThursdayMovie: more heart and love and kissesss!! [23:39] NinjaActionMoses: loveysquishybrookeyLOVEYOU [23:40] ThursdayMovie: i love you [23:40] NinjaActionMoses: i love you too [23:40] *** Auto-response from ThursdayMovie: [heart] i miss her so much right now. so warm with her..TOMORROW I SEE HER. Lovebrookedaviddoes (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
12:06 am	I am rather high. HIGHPPY Happy off my ass. I love Brookelyn Cathlyne Ahlberg. I love her beautiful face and her beautiful lups and her beautiful eyes and her hair and her..eyye brows and her nody oh..her body...and i';m not even looking at the screen because im looking at pretty brooke. I will never tire of you. I LOVWE YOU.. SHE TRUSTS ME. I THINK SHE LOVES ME. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
8:17 pm	HEY. Brooke, what should I say. She'll be right back. PORCUPINE TREE IS FUCKING AWESOME SHALLOWSHALLOWBITEYOURTOUNGEANDBLAGVALASKDF I don't know the lyrics. I wish I did. I wish more PT sounded like this songkissy...citrus.eskimo kisses Current Mood: GRIM AND FROSTY! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
11:25 pm	I want to record another song. I haven't exactly completed anything though. I really like "Passage" but I think it could use some melody guitar in there. I recorded a melody track a while ago and it's actually not too bad. I just fuck up pretty bad one time and I never felt to re-record it. I am SO FUCKING BORED. I think I'll call Brooke tomorrow to see if she wants to hang out or schumptin. Even when we're hanging around some potheads I don't know and I'm uncomfortable around them I still really like just being with her. Feeling alive and hwatnot. Mmmm...green tea... I'll probably make another entry before the night is done. (Comment on this)
9:20 pm	UGH Today was boring. I hung out with my friends. Whoo. I got stuff from Starbucks aaaand...I read some more of Hitchhiker's Guide. IT'S SO FUCKING HILARIOUS. Douglas Adams is a genious. BREAK! Current Music: Enslaved - Some Norwegian Shit. (Comment on this)
12:27 am	Today was..hmm..boring.. I decided to get suspension bridges done and over with. It was more boring than annoying. I get out of class for two days too. Jawesome. I walked to my mom's house after school today, Ricardo and Kyle came back from their field trip soon enough. They'd bought CDs and such. Cool. We hung around the village for a while. Got some coffee. I bought three books. The Tombs of Atuan, the first Everworld book, and The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. They're all good. Hitchhiker's Guide is fucking hilarious. I also bought a videogame "Arc the Lad: Twilight of the Spirits" I've barely started it, but insofar that I've played, the battle system is really really cool. Didn't do much else. Got to talk to Latasha on AIM, which I haven't done IN SO LONG. I missed talking to her. Tash, you're awesome. Yeah...i'm bored. Not too depressed.. that'll change so enough though. ride the snake. (Comment on this)
Monday, May 16th, 2005
3:39 am	i can barely see brooke is paying attention to me. and i am kinda high. ain't life grand? yeah it is. braaaaaaaaid i want to learn welsh i'm french braided i guess. this is fun hardeehar free rides! that would be fun i am one of many (1 Comment |Comment on this)